Think-Tank

You’d expect those institutions to be

a) more fuel efficient [tank?]

b) come up with real and rational thoughts that benefit mankind and not just a few men.

Weight lifting

When I picked up weight-lifting in outer space, the initial results were breathtaking. Holding two elephants up in the air for a few minutes became a routine act. However, over time the net-result of becoming less muscular with a rapidly decreasing bone density made me think twice. Although I don’t know why I believed that thinking the same thing twice would make any difference, because it didn’t.

Derrick

“Where are you?”

“I’m on Derrick.”

“What? On the notoriously drunk Scottish guy?”

“No. An abandoned oil rig, you idiot!”

Script

Some actors and actresses are so used to reading from scripts that they have to tattoo the names of their loved ones onto their skin in order to remember them.

Principles

Someone told me, “You’re an idiot.”

I asked, “Why?”

“For being so ffing principled! You could make a fortune, if you weren’t.”

I chewed on that premise for a bit. “Yeah, but then I wouldn’t be me, would I?”

Inner circle

When I attended a party I was invited to, not too long ago, one of the other guest told me he was part of the celebrity’s inner circle. That meant I had to be part of an outer circle, although I’d been taught societal classes were without borders.

Outside the boxx

If you think outside the boxx, you either have to leave the casing or the building.

I think

‘I think, therefor I am.’

I don’t think so, so where does that leave me?

Designer

When I was a kid I believed a designer was a person who penned the letter ‘D’ onto something.

Dog on a leash

What is it with dogs? You give ’em 1′, they’re at the end of it. You give the 6′, they’re at the end of it. You give them 60′, they’re at the end of it. What on Earth is at the end of leashes that irresistibly lures all dogs toward it?